I arrived in my hometown of Zellwood FL last week just in time for a hurricane and to soothe my worried grandmother. The storm was of no concern to her - she’s survived plenty of challenges in her 95 years and another hurricane would be the least of them. No, the distress ailing Grandma resulted from her son’s 79th birthday on Halloween when she lost her 6th pair of teeth.
Oh, Grandma. As sharp as she is, I can’t be surprised the teeth are missing. She has a habit of taking them out to eat and wrapping them in paper napkins. They likely got left on a table and were thrown away, mistaken for trash during the party cleanup. And after the first five pairs, why didn’t anybody make sure her teeth were accounted for before leaving? Anyway, I told her I’d get her a new set (it’s a simple wire with two front teeth attached) and she immediately relaxed in her recliner with a smile.
I’ve never met anybody like Pearl Mason, the woman I call grandma. She’s well known in this town and with good reason: She’s the oldest person in the area and she’s lived here the longest. In fact, she’s lived on the same land for nearly 80 years. She’s watched the area change, from getting its first telephone in 1959/1960 to the mass land development happening as I write. The old days of country live on through her vernacular: “When y’all goin’ yonder way?” A proud southern belle from time past, she only wears dresses that extend past her knees and refuses to wear the lace stockings that “loose women wear.”
Grandma Pearl has been known to defy physics. I’ll never forget the time my cousin tried to run from the living room to the kitchen to avoid a whoopin’. Grandma didn’t bother getting up - she grabbed her shoe and threw it after him. I watched it curve around the corner and collide with the back of his head. How she made it curve, I wish I knew, but she looked completely unfazed.
As you can imagine, a woman of African and native descent born in rural Florida was not set up to have an easy life, regardless of her working hard all day every day. She’s lived through a transformative century of social, economic, and political changes. Many of these changes did not serve her, but you won’t hear her complain (I, however, will talk the ear off of anyone willing to listen about what she’s told me). When I experience mistreatment of my own, I think of Pearl. I think of how she taught me to treat everyone, regardless of what someone looks like or how he sounds, with good will and compassion - despite that she was often met without it.
Do not mistake her kindness with weakness. In her prime, this woman would not hesitate to use whatever she had near her to fight you off if need be. Even yesterday when I performed sound bowl therapy for her, she commented that I could use a bowl to strike a man dead and gestured to show me how she’d do it. No need for concern - she isn’t prone to needless violence. She’s a steadfast woman who, on more than one occasion, relied on her own resourcefulness to protect herself and her family.
Every time I see or talk to my grandmother, she mentions how she made it to 95 and she’s the only one of her generation left in Zellwood. I believe her longevity is due to several factors including her resilience and determination, qualities that are represented in her favorite mantra: Once a task begun, never leave it ‘til it’s done. Be a labor great or small, do it well or not at all. Grandma does not say this halfheartedly. Every labor, from cooking to childrearing to working, was and is done with dedication and to completion. Cutting corners meant shorting yourself, creating problems for later, and wasting time. Giving up meant… Well, it was never an option!
She’s remained open to new tasks and labors, great and small alike, into her elderly years. Grandma let my mother and I into her house and family when I was three years old, and my mother has poured love into her everyday since. This love and care is the other reason for my grandmother’s longevity, and would not have come if she hadn’t opened her heart and doors to us when she was already in her 60s. As she approached her 70s, a time when many begin to slow down, she welcomed four of her great-grandchildren (aged 6, 7, 11, and 12) into her household and became their main caregiver.
Her mantra represents how she has approached life, and I think we can all learn from her example. From the moment we are born, we are tasked with a great labor: Living. Let’s do this task well - with resilience and determination. The other option is to not do it all, and give up. Until we draw our last breath and our task is done, let’s remember to live every moment fully. Challenges will come, but we can face them with creativity and ingenuity - if we decide we will always face the task.
“Do not mistake her kindness for weakness.” What a profoundly beautiful ode to your grandmother. Thank you for sharing it with your readers.
This brought me to tears. Thank you for sharing your grandma’s story and wisdom with us and for being such a light in life 🙏