Building resilience with curiosity

Learning from my son as he explores the forest

Mar 04, 2025

I grew up next to the “Jook,” the meeting place for the five gangs of the area. Bullets would fly through our windows on the weekends when the parties got rowdy, and we would sleep on the floor to avoid getting hit.

The city had begun spreading like a downhill stream, rushing through every channel it could find, and the country town where my grandmother had lived her entire life was changing. Before I was born, if you had asked any resident of the small town of Zellwood, Florida, what their greatest problem was, they likely would have said limited access to jobs, minimal transportation, and what my grandma referred to as “a legal unfairness.”

Grandma and I in 2022. I miss her everyday.

Then, drugs and violence started tearing families apart and straining the community as my childhood took place in an environment that many people didn’t make it out of. The small town’s family trees began to wilt.

I became jaded to the harshness of the world at a young age, but I chose not to let it shape my outlook. In spite of what I witness as a boy, I had curiosity, and I found joy in my explorations of the woods behind my grandmother’s house.

I see that same curiosity and joy in my son, who will be 18 months old in a week. When I was invited to be a speaker at this year’s Northwest Flower and Garden Show in Seattle, my wife suggested we take a day to visit the forests of Washington State, a place neither of us had been, but both of us have always wanted to go.

During our morning hike, I watched my son marvel in the freedom of the forest. There were no streets for us to pull him away from or no outlets to block from his reach; just us, the flora, and the fauna. At one point, I offered to pick him up — an offer he firmly rejected by shaking his head and smacking my hands away before scampering ahead of me.

It’s not a unique parental experience to see the world anew through the eyes of our children, but it’s nonetheless a powerful thing to experience. Every now and then I caught him staring at something, and I would try to get to his vantage point and identify what consumed his focus. An interesting branch? A flutter of wings? The pattern of light shining through the canopy? Whatever it could be, the purity of his joy in nature reminded me that life is fuller when we allow ourselves the simple pleasures of admiring the wonders around us, and being curious about them.

I think many people can acknowledge the importance of admiring wonders big and small, but struggle to do so because of all the barriers and burdens we face. There are obstacles in our way that stop us from feeling free enough to bask in the simple beauty life has to offer. The obstacles I often hear of are in reference to leadership, the state of the environment, wars, and crime.

The sentiment people often express is a question: “How can I be expected to find joy when everything around us is horrible?”

It’s a fair question, and like many things these days, it makes me think about my son. If I had decided to live my life by leading with the horrible things I experienced as a child, I would be a terrible father. I would have passed on a massive burden to my son that may have inhibited him from leading with joy.

Above: My son discovered the joy of throwing rocks into the water. He started doing this on his own, and would have continued for a long time if we didn’t need to leave.

I don’t ignore the awful things that I’ve gone through, but I also don’t let them keep me from celebrating the good. Similarly, there are more than enough problems in our world today between corporate greed and deforestation, but that doesn’t mean that other plants aren’t growing. We can nourish the forests we have access to and help renew the land we steward if we allow ourselves curiosity, determination, and joy.

I never want to pretend that everything is roses and lollipops, especially because that’s never been my experience. What I want to share is that I know the power of leading with love, kindness, patience, and positivity because they have allowed me a life of beauty in light of difficulty, and I now get to share that with my son.

Grateful to spend time in nature with my son

Curiosity is a powerful tool that helps us build resilience as we explore, learn, and problem-solve. We throw it away when we succumb to despair.

I encourage you to spend time outdoors and reconnect with your curiosity if it’s been a while since you’ve felt it. Bring your journal and jot down some thoughts. If you feel up to it, share a takeaway in a comment on this post so we can appreciate what you learned.

Building resilience with curiosity

Learning from my son as he explores the forest

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